The Priory of Finchelsea XXI

Our readers (assuming that there are a few) may have been asking themselves the understandable question,Where were the intrepid police? Jack Flash and his cohorts were doggedly trailing Lil's GPS tracker dot, which now registered as being on top of Mount Snowdon. While Miss Jones insisted that the government sponsored computer system was quite accurate, Flash declared that the whole thing was a disaster and ought to be smashed by men with large hammers.

Lil kipped down on the sofa in Sir Teabag Sumner's drawing-room, just glad to have somewhere relatively comfortable to sleep, and that she was small enough to be able to sleep comfortably on the sofa. Sir Richard, in the meantime, quietly broke into Lil's hotel room and removed some of her things so that her stay in London would not be too unbearable.
It was half-past nine on the dot when sir Richard Arcos loudly entered the drawing-room, turned on the television, and sat down on the sofa. Lil Barton awoke with a yelp of pain, as the knight had just sat on her.
"Ow! Sir Richard! I thought knights were supposed to be polite to ladies, not sit on them!"
"I know, lass, but you're on TV."
Lil looked up at the television screen, and she was not at all happy.